DALLAS
JENKINS (Midnight Clear):
“People will do what people will do.” Basically, a liar will
lie, a cheater will cheat, and an emotionally unstable person will eventually
break down. And on the flip side, people who are honest will tell the truth,
and those who are hard workers will always work hard. And we need to avoid
the bad ones and cling to the good ones.
MARY
DEMUTH (Daisy Chain, Wishing on Dandelions):
My father died when I was ten years old. I don’t remember any advice
he gave, but I remember how he lived his life as an artist. He dedicated
himself to taking breathtaking photos. He wrote poetry that still steals
my breath. He didn’t care much for the trappings of fame, but he
cared a great deal for beauty. That’s what sticks with me.
JAMES
SCOTT BELL (Try Dying, The Whole Truth):
The best advice my father ever gave me was to always tell the truth.
Even if it hurts.
CANDACE
CALVERT (Critical Care):
More of an example than direct advice: My father was an incredibly dynamic,
bigger-than-life, charismatic man who threw himself into everything with
unfettered and unapologetic zeal--and never, ever quit. If he was a fictional
character (and I could write the dialogue) he'd advise me: "Throw
your heart into it, Candy--go after what calls to you, reach for it!
You will succeed." Daddy gave me confidence, inspired passion and
tenacity, and gifted me with not only with his storytelling finesse, but
with an
optimistic sense of energy that I consider to be his finest legacy. In
a tribute to him (inspired by TitleTrakk.com!) I've posted an essay, "Magnetic
Energy," on my blog, RX:
Hope.
KAREN
BALL (What Lies Within, The Breaking Point):
“Stop trying to change people. That’s God’s job, not
yours.”
JULIE
CAROBINI (Sweet Waters, Truffles by the Sea):
"Don't start your books with the word 'The." LOL. I'm serious.
In regards to life, though, I believe he told me to marry someone as wonderful
as dear old dad--and I did :)
JUSTIN
LOOKADOO (Chat Room Chatter, Dateable):
"Hold on tight and don’t let go." (He was a cowboy.)
TAMARA
LEIGH (Faking Grace, Splitting Harriet):
Advice? "Do your homework!" Uh...that may have been more of
a command, but it stuck with me and has served me well in every aspect
of my life. When I avail myself of it, of course.
BILL
MYERS (The Voice, The Seeing):
Easy. “Don’t give up.”
NICOLE
YOUNG (Kill Me If You Can, Love Me If You Must):
When I was in high school, I'd gotten myself over-involved and overwhelmed.
I sat at the kitchen table and complained to my dad about my horrible schedule.
He gave me two words of wisdom: “Then quit.” My jaw dropped
open. I'd never contemplated such a simple solution. Even now when things
get to be too much and I find myself whining about my situation, I tell
myself, “Then quit.” It really puts things into perspective.
I realize I have the freedom to choose my level of involvement. I have
the freedom to take care of myself. Usually I don't quit. But it's nice
to know I have that choice. Thanks, Dad, for the great advice.
MICHELLE
SUTTON (It's Not About Him, It's Not About Me): The best
advice my dad has ever given me is... "You don't have to feel like
it to do it." He
was referring to work. You have to work (or go to school) whether you feel
like it or not. That kept me from ditching when I didn't feel up to school
and the same goes for work. He taught me a work ethic by his example.
MINDY
STARNS CLARK (Whisper in the Bayou, Trouble With Tulip):
The best advice my wise and wonderful father ever gave me was when he
first met one of my friends from college, John Clark. "You should
marry that boy!" my dad said emphatically, but I just laughed because
John and I were only friends. Four years later, the laugh was on me when
I fell in love with my best friend. Now, almost 20 fabulous years of
marriage later, I can honestly say that my dad knew what he was talking
about!
AMY
WALLACE (Healing Promises, Ransomed Dreams):
My dad always taught me to know who I am and be true to that.
JEANETTE
WINDLE (Veiled Freedome, Betrayed):
A piece of advice that stuck: Whether frogs, snakes or irridescent plant
life, the brighter and shinier the critter, the more poisonous. That advice
first arose at age 6, when my father found my twin and I and younger sister
playing with a bright-red 'baby snake' on the concrete floor of our living-room
in the Colombian jungle zone where my parents served as missionaries. Turned
out our plaything was a full-grown and deadly poisonous coral snake. In
later years, I always associated Proverbs 14:12 "There is a way that
seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death' with that childhood
lesson.
(Among many others: 'Always sit behind a taxi driver when traveling alone,
because they can't pull a gun on you from that position'; 'Shake out
your shoes, clothes and bedding for scorpions and other creepy-crawlies
before climbing in', 'If lost in the jungle, find water and head downstream;
a small stream will always lead to a larger, and sooner or later you
will find human habitation')
JAMES
PENCE (The Angel, Blind Sight):
The best "advice" that my father ever gave me actually takes
the form of an example he set (as opposed to just telling me something).
Here it is: In all the years I was at home, I never heard my father speak
an angry, or thoughtless, or sarcastic, or unkind word to my mother. He
always treated her with respect and love, and he expected the same from
me. I have tried to follow his example in my own marriage. Incidentally,
my wife and I celebrated our twenty-seventh wedding anniversary on June
14th. So my dad's example must have been a good one.
JOHN
AUBREY ANDERSON (And If I Die, Abiding Darkness):
On raising children, one man has said, “Example isn’t the
best teacher, it’s the only teacher.” My parents divorced
about the time I was born, and I grew up in my grandparents’ home.
My grandfather’s name was Horace Aubrey Carpenter—I called
him H. A. He never gave me advice, but he lived an exemplary life—and
God put me where I could watch.
NIKKI
ARANA (As I Have Loved You, Winds of Sonoma):
My Dad is from the "greatest generation." He always advised
me, "Let your word be your bond." I abide by that to this day.
BRANDT
DODSON (Daniel's Den, White Soul):
My father was a police officer for thirty-nine years. During that time
he saw people kill, lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead. Sometimes they
were motivated by greed and sometimes they were motivated by a need for
status. But in all cases, the consequences of their actions left them to
live lives of fear. Often, they were left destitute with the loss of their
liberty, the destruction of their families, and the decimation of their
reputations. The result of having seen all of this was the best advice
he could give. “Be honest.” In an age when many in government,
entertainment, the church, and society at large, seem to live by a “means
justifies the ends” philosophy, it’s comforting to have those
two words to live by. Following that advice will sometimes have a cost
attached to it, but that cost is always so much less than the alternative.”
MARILYN
GRIFFITH (Rhythms of Grace, Happily Even After):
My dad's best advice? PERSEVERE. He told me that intellect is only about
ten percent of any success. The rest? Blood, sweat and tears. So far,
it's proved true in my parenting, my writing and my walk with Christ.
Father's Day Feature: My Dad's Best Advice
37 Authors Share Theirs
by C.J. Darlington
"I've
learned from my Dad that your starting position isn't the point. It's
how you run the race, who you are in the race, and how you can come from
behind to finish strong."
-- Dondi Scumaci
Fathers hold a special place in all of our hearts. Whether your Dad played
a big part in your life or not, he probably gave you some pieces
of advice you'll never forget. But even if your Dad wasn't around
during your growing up years, you can learn from the fathers of these
popular authors.
FRANCINE
RIVERS (A Lineage of Grace, Redeeming Love):
He taught me that if you work hard, you can achieve much. Just set your
mind on what you want to do, and work hard. He was a police officer, and
my mother was a nurse. Between the two of them they literally built their
house from the ground up. I remember the smell of sawdust and cement from
the time I was little. They would come home at night and work. The only
thing they didn’t do themselves was the wiring on the house. They
even did some of the plumbing. They designed it. My Dad read books on how
to build and did it himself. They did it twice, in fact. The house they
built in Pleasanton, and then they built a retirement home in Oregon outside
of Grant’s Pass.
BRYAN
DAVIS (Nightmare's Edge, Dragons in Our Midst series):
My father, a career military man, told me, “Do exactly what you say
you’re going to do and get it done on time. Arrive on schedule and
be prepared. People will know they can count on you for anything.” As
a child, I didn’t know that this eternal truth was really an echo
of Jesus’’ words. “Well done, good and faithful slave;
you were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things.” (Matthew
25:21) And those words still echo in my mind today. I have lived up to
that advice ever since, though some people are taken aback when, instead
of being fashionably late, I arrive at a barbecue party two minutes before
it’s supposed to start. So what if the hostess is still in curlers?
I just pitch in and fire up the grill.
RENEE
RIVA (Taking Tuscanny, Saving Sailor):
One summer when I was home from college, I was dating someone (who my dad
really liked), and someone from the band KISS (who I'd met in an airport
while traveling) called me and invited me to the KISS concert with a backstage
pass. I told him I'd go and would meet him at the collisium. Then I called
and cancelled my date with my boyfriend. My dad was listening to all of
this and said, "You know, you really need to learn to be true to people
in life." I don't think he wanted to see his daughter get swept away
by some guy in a rock band when I was already dating a really nice guy.
I remember thinking that over, and as tempted as I was to go, I never went
and just called and left a message that I cound't make it. I've seen how
important that advice has been all my life. To be true. There are so few
relationships anymore that hold to that standard but it's so important
for families--I'm going on 26 years of marraige to someone who, thankfully,
believes that too. This will be my 3rd Father's Day since my dad passed
away, but at his funeral I said the thing I admired most about him was
that he was true. He was
true to family and friends--we were the ones who mattered in his life and
he stayed true to the end.
DONDI
SCUMACI (Ready, Set . . . Grow!, Designed for Success):
My father has always been and continues to be a hero in my life. Honestly
he is a man of few words. When asked about the best advice I've received
from
him, I lean towards lessons I have watched him live. His life inspires
me, and those inspirations are woven through my books. Some of the references
are subtle, but he smiles when he reads them (and sometimes his eyes twinkle a
bit). I know he "gets" it.
I've learned from my Dad that your starting position isn't the point. It's
how you run the race, who you are in the race, and how you can come from
behind to finish strong. For him, it has never been about "beating" someone
else in the race. That isn't the point at all. It's about running your
race - the one set before you - with integrity and strength.
It wasn't until I was an adult, with a child of my own, that I began to
realize how far my Dad had come and how beautifully he has run. When I
hear the stories of his "starting position" and I see the life
he has built, I admire him more. Even more amazing to me is the fact that
he doesn't see anything extraordinary in that at all. For him, it is the
only way to live a life...well.
MELANIE
WELLS (My Soul to Keep, When the Day of Evil Comes):
My dad is a musician - a symphony conductor, among other things. I asked
him once what it was like to take a huge, discordant mess - 100 musicians
learning the Mahler 1st symphony - and turn it into the work of art it
was meant to be. Such a daunting, unwieldy task. Didn't he find it frustrating
and discouraging? His response: "All you need is a teaspoon of success
a day. Before you know it, you have a cup."
MICHAEL
LANDON JR (The Silent Gift, One More Sunrise):
The best advice my father ever gave me was unspoken. I had the opportunity
of having a man who was firm about honesty and truth, but at the same time,
he hugged us, he kissed us, he held our hands and loved us. He was there
for us. So, it was in my growing up years that he had a major impact. Major.
Actions speak louder than words. That’s the first time you’ve
ever heard that saying, I’m sure. (Laughs) But it really is so true.
F.P.
LIONE (Clear Blue Sky, Skells):
For Frank: “He talked me into joining the NYPD.” For Pam: “Don’t
sit on a boys lap, you can get pregnant.” Just kidding. Unfortunately,
my dad was an alcoholic and absent for most of my childhood and adult
life, so needless to say he didn’t give me a lot of advice. But
he got sober about five years before he died, thumbing his nose at thirty
years of AA and rehab. He said the best advice to someone who wants to
get sober is, “Grow up and stop being selfish.” That may
sound simple, he said. But it’s the truth. Good advice, I think.
ROXANNE
HENKE (On A Someday, Learning to Fly):
This is going to sound silly, but the best advice my father ever gave me
was: "Don't go off half-cocked."As a young girl and then an idealistic,
headstrong teenager, it was easy for me to quickly spout-off against anything
I didn't think was "right" in the world. More than once my dad
gave me a wry look (along with a twinkle in his eye) and repeated his advice.
It didn't take me long to understand what he meant. . .if I had all the
facts, I could make my point much better than when I blurted out the first
thing that came to mind. And people seemed to listen to me more seriously,
too. My dad passed away when I was seventeen, but his advice has helped
me keep a level-head more times than I can count.
TRICIA
GOYER (A Valley of Betrayal, My Life Unscripted):
The man I call my father married my mom when I was four years old. I
didn't know my biological dad until recently, and I'm thankful God gave
me a dad during my growing up years (even though there were times I questioned
why I couldn't be like other kids in "normal" families). The
best advice my Dad ever gave me was, "Dump the creep." He told
me that more than once when I was dating in high school. "That guy
is no good," he'd tell me. Sometimes I listened. Other times I didn't
and found out that I should have! Then, when I dated a guy named John
Goyer my Dad told me, "He's a good guy, I'd keep that one." That
time I listened, and I'm so glad I did! John and I have been married
seventeen years and he's a wonderful husband and father.
SIBELLA
GIORELLO (The Rivers Run Dry, The Stones Cry Out):
I was boarding an airplane from Alaska to New England when he said, “College
is usually the last chance anybody gets to fail.” Instead of taking
a bunch of English classes, he said I should sign up for something that
was really hard for me. “I'll make you a deal,” he said. “If
you give it your best, I promise not to look at your grades. So why not
learn some new things?” When I got to college, I took as much science
and math as possible. Sure enough, my grades stunk -- one algebra professor
gave me a "D" and said it was a Christmas present! But true
to his word, my dad never said anything about my grades. He would only
ask, “Are you learning? Are you giving it your best?” I was.
And when my professors discovered the deal with my dad, they helped me
through Geophysics or Crystal Mineralogy by assigning extra-credit papers
about great discoveries in science or why algorhythms were invented.
All that writing reminded me how much I enjoyed words, and eventually
led me into journalism. When I started writing about forensic geology
for my first novel, that science background was an enormous help. But
my dad's advice went beyond all that: He really taught me not to fear
failure. And that changed my life.
TIM
DOWNS (Less Than Dead, First the Dead):
To never quit while you’re behind; to always leave a winner. In
high school I was flunking a physics course and I told my dad I wanted
to drop the class. He told me I could drop it—as soon as I got
a ‘B’ for the quarter. That lesson has served me well over
the years: Choose to leave when you want to, but don’t be driven
away. Refuse to give in.
ROBIN
LEE HATCHER (Return to Me, The Victory Club):
My father was killed in a plane crash when I was four months old, and
my mother never remarried. Uncles and grandfathers were deceased. Therefore,
I grew up in a very female heavy environment. The only father I’ve
ever known is my Heavenly Father, and His best advice boils down to: “You
must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all
your mind.”
DEBORAH
RANEY (Leaving November, Remember to Forget):
When I met the man who is now my husband and believed God had put him
in my life, I questioned God when I realized that we were headed to different
colleges. I asked my dad why God would have orchestrated that, if we
were truly supposed to be together. I’ll never forget Daddy’s
answer. He said, “Debbie, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
If this love was meant to be, it will survive a separation.” Truer
words were never spoken, and over the next nine months, as Ken and I
wrote daily letters back and forth, we got to know each other better
than we ever would have living on the same campus. We married the following
summer and lived in campus married housing while we attended the next
semester together.
ROBIN
SHOPE (Wildcard, The Valentine Edition):
My dad was nearing sixty when I was born. My mom was his third wife and
I was his third child. More like a grandpa than a dad, I totally adored
this man. His watery blue eyes seemed to shine with love for me. He never
spanked me, never raised his voice to me. One day I watched my older
sister get ready for a date. I was thirteen and jealous, wanting to hurry
along the process of growing-up. I didn't know it at the time but Dad
was watching me, watching her. Flowers arrived for my sis' and then her
date came. Out the door they went. An hour later, more flowers arrived.
This time they were for me. Dearest Robin, always enjoy today. All my
love, Dad. Yes, live in the moment, and don't wish your life away...but
oh, how sometimes I would love to go backwards, flow upstream, and spend
another day with him.
DONNA
FLEISHER (Standing Strong, Wounded Healer):
"Push in the clutch, let off the gas." No, wait, that wasn't
it. "Listen to your mom." No, but very close. "Creamy
Italian dressing works best on a hoagie." (He's a master hoagie
maker.) Could that be it? No. His best advice was this: "Don't ever
forget this one thing. I love you very very much." I haven't forgot.
And I never will.
SHARON
HINCK (The Restorer, Stepping Into Sunlight):
My
dad (who went to heaven 25 years ago this summer) battled some tough
things. Alcoholism,
workaholism, immigrating to the U.S.A. as a young man in total poverty,
fighting in the Korean war, two different cancers, and depression. Sometimes
my teen angst coincided with his bouts of insomnia, and we’’d
both be prowling the quiet house late at night. He’d often say
to me, “If you can’t sleep –– stay awake.” He
said it with a smirk and a shrug –– acknowledging the humor
in the advice. Yet those words continue to speak to me in a broader way.
They remind me to stop fighting too hard against things I can’’t
control –– to be willing to change course –– to
adapt and make the best of a situation. Something he often lived out
during his quest for sobriety.
JENNY
B. JONES (So Not Happening, In Between):
I didn't get advice,
so much as a lesson from my step-dad. I think he taught me that love
isn't always about our biological connection. It's not about being loved
the most by the ones who look the most like us. It's just about being
loved thoroughly and appreciating the ones who invest in us. When I was
a kid, I really didn't get that. But as an adult, I can see that God
totally provides--even when it doesn't come in the traditional package
you thought it would. Even though we didn't swim in the same gene pool,
I still have a great dad.
WAYNE
THOMAS BATSON (Isle of Swords, Door Within trilogy):
Old Knife, Fishing Rod and Coat Hanger Thing
A Poem by Wayne Thomas Batson
A scheduled spot behind a marina restaurant, waited
one sultry summer dusk for our arrival. Parked near a streetlight among
the parking meters and dried, sun-bleached sand dollars, we kids traded
eager glances while you and Mom unpacked the Gran Torino. We heard the
slaps of high tide even before we four peered over the rail into the
playful Gulf.
The perfect time for
fishing. crabbing, you knew it would be, the perfect night for me to
grow. From
your father’s old tackle box, you let
me use his dull homemade knife to cut up bait fish. Leslie, Jeff, Brian
had done it before---but not me. I scraped silver scales, carved blood-laced
chunks from bone, the feel
of your hand on mine eased boyish, queasy pangs. A jagged piece secure
on my hook, I lobbed the weighted line
over the rail. Reeling slowly just like you showed me,
I felt a nibble, then a bite. I struggled, not sure a six-year-old could
bring it in, but you lifted me, sat me on your knee added strength to my
arms. Felt the tickle of your rough, stubbly chin against my cheek, watched
the top of the rod quiver, bend, heard Mom, Leslie say,
“
Bet it’s a sailcat!”
Buoyed by their words, your hands, I reeled it in. When the dark wriggling,
finned creature hung just below the rail, you grabbed the line, hoisted
my fish to safety.
“
It’s a good catch!” you say, “Big one.”
I grinned knowing you’re proud. You knelt
near the always grimacing gray catfish. I shined
the flashlight down. With a practiced flip,
you used that coat hanger thing to free
the hook from the captured bottom feeder- always
seemed like magic. You took my fine fish, with thanks, divided it among
the drop sides. Wire, string, traps ready to lay under murky water, on
the moving Gulf floor. Though years passed I can still remember bushel
baskets of bubbling, snapping, clicking crabs, bounty beyond the catch.
How’d you do it, Dad? The coat hanger thing, flip of the hand? How’d you take an old knife, a fishing rod and turn little boy into a man...
C.J.
Darlington's
first
novel, Thicker Than Blood, was the winner of the 2008 Christian
Writers Guild's Operation
First Novel contest. Her second novel, Bound by Guilt, has recently
released
from Tyndale,
and
you
can watch
that trailer today! When
she's not writing, she's reading. Her hobbies include horseback riding, oil painting,
and book collecting.
She is also a contributing editor at Family
Fiction Magazine. Visit her online
at her
author website and at her
blog where she talks about books, writing, and publishing. You can also look
her
up
at
Twitter and Facebook.
