The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Reviewed by John Perrodin
"If you saw the preview for The Mummy 3 you’ve already seen all the good parts. "
When bad things happen to promising mummies the result is The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. This movie, rated PG-13 for loads of mostly non-bloody violence, swearing, and some suggestive scenes, is poor film-making at every level. Alex (Luke Ford), the son of Rick and Evie O’Connell (Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello) plays a spoiled, mush-mouthed, ingrate, who is tricked by a dear family friend into releasing the “untold power” of a deceased wicked emperor.
Alex, who doesn’t look (or act) much younger than his father, lacks
any discernable chemistry with the fetching protector of the evil emperor’s
tomb, Lin (Isabella Leong). Jet Li, master martial artist and elsewhere
an excellent actor, is wasted as the Frankenstein-stepping Emperor Han.
Most of the movie is spent watching his face fall off in chunks when he
gets emotionally overwrought. Brendan Fraser seems to have trouble staying
awake long enough to deliver his lines. The audience definitely relates.
It’s impossible to provide meaningful spoilers for this pointless
romp. That’s because virtually every scene has been seen before.
And always in a much better film. The Indiana Jones franchise comes in
for the most pillaging. Several moments in The Mummy 3 were lifted whole-cloth
from the first three movies, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana
Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Indiana Jones and the Last
Crusade. One character
is doused in life-giving liquid in an emotionless rip-off of the scene
in which Indy’s dying father (Sean Connery) receives healing from
the Holy Grail.
The calling of the Yetis – prematurely white monster-gorillas – to the rescue is as laughable as it is cringe-worthy. Watching the beasts bound through the snow helping the good guys and smashing up the bad ones defines stupid fun. Fulfilling the line, “mummies don’t play fair,” Emperor Han shows off his power to transform into weird creatures. Some are hairy, some flighty, like the three-headed dragon that could be twin to the Japanese star, Ghidorah.
If you saw the preview for The
Mummy 3 you’ve already seen all the
good parts. Vote with your money. Just say “no” to worthless
films and maybe we’ll be spared another undead disaster in the future.
Watch the Trailer:
John
Perrodin is
the Senior Editor for the Christian
Writers Guild. He co-authored
the Renegade Spirit Trilogy with Jerry B. Jenkins. The latest release in that
series is Seclusion Point (Thomas Nelson). His book, Simple Little
Words:
What
You
Say Can Change a Life, written
with Michelle
Cox, releases in April 2008 from David C. Cook. Please visit www.simplelittlewords.com to
find out more about the book, and visit John's website www.johnperrodin.com to
find out more about his writing.
